Got a New Gig?

 So while I'm waiting to get back to my Autistic Kids, Mom decided I needed to help her.  Now, this is not really in my job description, but I guess when Mom asks, how can I say no.

See, she is trying to grow bushes that are colorful in our yard.  She hasn't been very successful so far.  First she bought these two pretty bushes from Moon Valley.  One was called a Blue Plumbago.  It was definitely blue, but it didn't have any plums, so I don't get the Plum thing.

Then she dug a deep hole and dumped the bush in it.  Followed up with lots of water.  I helped.  What did I do to help, you ask?  I kept Mom company and tried to keep her hopes up though that dumb plumb plant didn't want to grow.  The blue flowers all died and the it looked pretty nasty. 

After a few months, Mom was about to give up, so she cut the bush right down to the ground.  I tried to tell her to not kill her plant, but she wasn't listening to me.  I thought she was just plain mad at the poor plant.  Then she explained that if you cut a plant down, it sometimes grows back better.  I thought about that.  Does that work for animals, too?  If I got cut to the ankles, would I grow back better?  Probably not.  I mean I'm already the best dog in the world, so how could I get any better?  (Hee hee).

Anyway, after a little while, there did appear some tiny little green leaves growing.  Mom was so happy!  But a week later the leaves were gone.  I kinda had a suspicion but I didn't like to tell Mom.  You see, I think my little bunny friends might have had something to do with it.  We waited a little bit and the leaves came back.   But just like the first time, they soon disappeared.  And wouldn't you know it?  Mom suspected my little bunnies too.  So what did she do?  She said I had to guard the plant since it was MY friends that were eating the buds.  

I tried.  

But I really felt stupid out in the hot sun especially when my little bunny friends knew enough not to come near me.  I gave up in about 20 seconds and went back inside.

I told Mom we needed to do something different and I told her my idea.  Mom's no dummy, so she did what I suggested and bought a wire basket.  We put it on top of the plant, and now the little bunnies can't get at it and it's growing new leaves.

Well, maybe you can't see them yet, but they're there.  I'm going to check on them everyday.  That's a better use of my time than chasing away my friendly bunnies!

Hope you have better things to do.

Love, G

Got a New Gig! Got a New Gig!

 Yep!  I'm back in business.  Well sort of.  It's only monthly for now and because of a bunch of stuff I have zero control over, we don't meet again until September.  But let me tell you about it.

I'm working with some tiny two legged puppies who have Autism.  They are between ages of 2 and about 8.  It's way different than my elementary school kids, and the kids at the library.  The first time I went to see them, they were in a big group and some of them were screaming at me.  I didn't like that much, but Mom was right behind me so I just sat and tried to look very calming.  That's my job - to be very calming.  At least I think so.  One of their teachers read a couple of books while the kids petted me.  Well some of them petted me.  The others ran away and hid in the corner.  I don't know why they would do that.  I'm not scary.  But then I showed them how I play Muffin Tin.  That was fun and they laughed when I got all my treats and put my tennis balls back where they belonged.  I did Sit for them and Down.  And Shake and pretty much all my tricks.  But soon we had to leave because some of the kids couldn't pay attention any more.  But I think I did my job.  

Mom wasn't so sure.  I mean she wasn't real sure what my job was supposed to be.  So Mom, being Mom, did what Mom always does when she isn't sure.  She consulted Professor Google and bought 5 new books.  So now she's teaching me new tricks for our future classes.  She's been teaching me BANG which means I'm supposed to fall on my side and play dead.  And after that I'm supposed to learn how to roll onto my back for a belly rub.  (Which I do very well, thank you, but she wants me to do it on command.  I just do it when I want to.)  So we've been playing BANG when I go out to do my business in the green spots down the street.  I didn't have it down by the time we went to see the kiddies again last Friday, so we just decided to do other stuff instead.  

When we got there, they were all in a tizzy.  (I think the teachers are not so organized as they should be -- or else the kids are too much even for them on some days.  Anyway, only one kid had a permission slip to see me, so we did a "One on One."  Sam is 8 years old and is leaving the school to go to a school for older kids soon.  So he was a little sad, and I tried to cheer him up.  He came over to let me sniff his hand, and I gave him my paw to shake.  (Kids always like the Shake thing.  And I do too.)  Then he read to me a little from my very own picture book.  Actually, he wanted Mom to read it, but when she started, he pushed her aside and did it himself to show us all how good he could read.  Which was what we wanted him to do in the first place!  Then he and Mom each took a leash and walked me up and down the halls.  Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.  He also filled up my water bowl so I wasn't thirsty.  I did very much appreciate that!

The school is moving up the street next month, so we won't go back then.  After that guess where I am going?  Back to California to play in the ocean!!!   I love, love, love, love running in the ocean.  I can't hardly wait.  

But Mom says we need to continue working on my new tricks.  Just maybe not so often.  She says I'm gaining too much weight from the treats.  I think she's wrong, but she doesn't listen to me about those things.  

Here's me practicing my BANG trick!

Hope you have fun gigs to do!

Love, G

OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE!

 Every day in the news, I hear something about "Obstruction of Justice", and NOT IN A GOOD WAY.  So I know it's bad to obstruct.  So why is Mom obstructing my fun?

See this is how it goes:  I love, love, love, love playing the Muffin Tin Game.  You remember that one.  We invented it, Mom and me, in November.  You can see my video of how I take out all the tennis balls from the muffin tin and then put them all back.  It's the November 22 post. (Of course, I do require treats for this game, which is maybe why I like it so much!)  But anyway, I love it a lot.  And usually, all I have to do to get her to play it with me, is bring her a ball and drop it at her feet.  

Sometimes the tennis ball goes missing and I have to use my blue and orange ball or my green plastic ball, or even sometimes if I can't find any of those, I use my blue wheel.  As long as it's sort of round, Mom understands what I want to do.

Lately, though, Mom acts like she is tired of the game.  Just 'cuz I ask her to play it three times a day every day.  So when I go to ask her to play it with me, I sometimes can't find the ball to drop at her feet.  It's supposed to be in my toy basket.  The other day, I couldn't find any of them in my basket.  So I just looked at Mom.  I think she knows something.

Sometimes I've had to pull out that big rolling thing from the basket to find a ball.  She sometimes hides them under it.  It makes a huge noise on the floor when I do that.  Then I hear her say to Dad, "Guess what he wants now?"  See, she knows she's obstructing my fun.

What I didn't know was what was on the kitchen counter.

I TOLD you she was behind it.  She is trying to Obstruct my Justice and I think we should Lock Her Up!

What do you think?  Shouldn't we Lock Her Up?

Actually, we finally came up with a compromise.  I only ask her once a day and she doesn't hide my balls anymore.  I guess that's working.  At least for now.

Hope no one is obstructing you from having fun!

Love, G.

WE'RE BACK!

 Bet you thought I'd left you for good!  NOT!  The family just had a little bitty issue regarding health problems.  Mom says I was a hero, 'cuz I stayed with my dad in the hospital for 6 days and nights.  He's really ascared of hospitals, so I kept him calm and we got through his surgery and now he's getting stronger and stronger every day.  Mom fell on her A** and fractured her tail bone, so we've all been mostly sitting around home for the last month and a half.  That's OK with me!  I like when everybody stays home with me.

In fact, I had a dog walker for a few weeks.  And boy did she spoil me.  I got so many treats, I gained 4 pounds in 4 weeks.  Unfortunately, Mom decided it was time to walk me herself and I don't get as many treats as I did, but since I just turned 10, I guess I need to watch my health too.  

Anyway, I had some fun times on those walks!  I took Carmen, my dog walker lots of places she didn't know about and she took me to some surprise places too!

First, of course, I had to introduce her to Mr. Grant and Mrs. Gerrie.  There the ones that buy me my very own treats.  I always stop in when we go by there house.  Carmen didn't know why I was taking her there, but she soon learned.  Mr. Grant saw me and came out and explained to her that I am in charge of watching out for Mr. Grant and Mrs. Gerrie, and for that he gives me really good treats.  So now she knows!

 Then Carmen took me to the Easter Eggstravaganza.  That was fun!  

I met the cutest little fluff ball along the way.  I think she kinda liked me.  I still got it!  Even tho' I'm now as old as MOM.  HeeHee!

    

Carmen did really good taking pictures of me.  She especially liked my signature LawnRoll, so she took lots of those pictures.  These are some of my favorites:

Carmen gave me a good workout, too.  She kept me out for an hour every time.  So I often ended the evening like this:

Hope you stay healthy this year.  And if not, hope you have people who can help you out!

Love, G

 

YOGA - GUINNESS STYLE

Mom has taken up yoga again, so to help her out I pulled out my old notes on some of my favorite poses.  Seemed like a good thing to share with you all, too.  I put it together about 8 years ago, so you probably have all forgotten it by now.  Anyway, here it is:  or was:  

OK, I promised to give all you yoga fans my favorite poses.  This will be especially for all of you who have included a healthy living resolution in your 2015 New Year's Resolutions.

Here goes: 

#1.  I always start with the Puppy Splay.  This simple pose lets you really stretch those thigh muscles.  Hold it for 12 seconds.  Ahhhh, doesn't that feel wonderful?  You can add a Kong Toy if you like.  I sometimes do this while working on peanut butter in my Kong.  But I leave that up to you.

 

 

 

#2.   This one is the Wriggle Pose.  It massages the spine and is especially good for when you have an itchy back and you don't have someone to scratch it for you.  It can be done with or without the frizbee.  I prefer with, as it gives me something to shake while I wriggle.

 

 

 

 

#3.  Everyone knows this one!  This is Downward Facing Dog.  We dogs do it so much better than our people, but someday, I'll get Mom to do it almost as good.  Best done with tail in the air as you see me doing.

 

 



 

#4.  This is the Heel To Ear Twist.  Careful not to get your toenails stuck in your earrings, ladies.  I sometimes get caught in my dog park tags.  Notice the nose pointing directly upward.  It takes some practice, but you can do it.

 

 

 

#5.  This is Reverse Tree Pose.  It's reverse 'cuz when humans do Tree Pose, they stand on ONE leg and their other legs are in the air.  Dogs can't do that.  Instead, we stand with THREE legs on the ground and ONE in the air.  This is a very good pose for balance.  It also allows you to do some very necessary functions like answer email on your walks. 

 

 

 



#6.  The final one for today is called Savasana or Resting Pose.  It's really a lot like the Puppy Splay except that you keep your head down and breathe as if you are asleep.  That way people won't bother you and you can really sleep.  But don't snore, 'cuz then they laugh.  And that isn't very restfull.  It's embarrassing!

 

 



 

Namaste everyone! 

'Till next week,

G

If you know anyone who would like to join my blog, just send this to them and tell them to sign up at "Guinnesstherescuedog.blogspot.com ".  The more the Barkier!  (Ha!  I just made that up.)  G

It's Been a Bad Year So Far

Well, Mom and Dad just got back from a 3 week trip.  THREE WHOLE WEEKS.  They left me with a sitter, and he was great, but I really, really, really missed them.  Partly I was worried that Mom might still be mad at me.  

Here is what happened:

I guess I was getting really nervous, 'cuz I knew they were going to leave for a very, very, very long time.  So one night, I heard my stomach gurgling and not in a nice way.  All of a sudden, I had to go and no one was up to let me out.  So I tried to hide it by letting go on the rug near the piano room.  No one goes in that room all that much so I thought it might be OK to do it there. 

It was pretty yucky stuff and it smelled kinda nasty, so I went in another room for the rest of the night.

When Mom and Dad woke up, I went into their bedroom and tried to tell them what happened, but they were just looking at the news on their phones and they didn't pay much attention to me.  So when Cuffy (that's what Dad calls the Robot that vacuums our floors - it's really a Eufy, but he can't see that far down, so he thought her name was Cuffy.)  Anyway, she woke up at 7:30 a.m. to do her job and the first thing she cleaned was the rug that I let go on.  Then she spread it all around the rug and went in to kitchen to clean in there.

Mom got up in a little while and she was like, "OMG, what smells so awful."  I could have told her, but she wasn't asking me.  Then she found Cuffy.  Cuffy was covered in s*** and she was spreading it all over the kitchen and the den.  Mom grabbed her real quick and threw her outside. This is what Cuffy looked like when Mom picked her up.

Even the little grooves in her paws were full of s***.

She tried to clean up the kitchen floor, but then she saw the rug in the piano room.  She tried to wash the mess and then she put the rug outside.  It's like a 7X9 rug, so it wasn't exactly a small one.  Later she tried to bring the rug back in but it still smelled nasty.   

She called a company to come get the rug.  She said the guy laughed his head off when she told him what happened.  I'm glad.  I felt kinda bad.  But if I made someone laugh, then that's OK then!

Anyway, now that they're back, Mom doesn't seem mad at me.  She took Cuffy out today and tried cleaning her.  We don't know yet if it worked.  We'll have to see tomorrow after she's all dried out.  If she still smells, I think she might be outta here!

Hope your year started a little better than mine.  At least I know it can only get better!

Love, G

Guinness & His Family Wish You a Merry Christmas

As you know, I am a part-time poet, having accidentally made some words rhyme.  So I decided to send you a poem I made up about me for Christmas.  Ready?

Guinness the Red-Bowed Rescue

Had a very cheery bow.

And if you ever saw it.

You would laugh and say, "HO! HO!"

All of the other Doggies

Used to laugh and call him names.

They never let poor Guinness,

Join in any Doggie games.

Then one freezing Christmas Day,

Santa came to say,

"Guinness with your Heart so Warm,

Won't you steer us through this storm?"

Then how the Doggies loved him.

As they shouted out with glee,

"Guinness the Red-Bowed Rescue,

You'll go down in history!"

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Diwali or Kwanzaa or whatever holiday you celebrate around this time of year.  But mostly may you have laughter and joy throughout the New Year!

Love G & Family