Sunday, January 16, 2022

Am I Weird or Is It Them?

 Mom and Dad think I do strange things.  Lots and lots and lots of strange things.  But I don't think they're so strange.  I think they are absolutely positively normal.

I'm just going to give you a few of the things in this post.  (In case you think they're strange, too, I wouldn't want you to get the opinion that I am a complete weirdo - so I think I'll save a few for later, OK?)

Anyway, the first thing they always tell people about is this:  Guinness doesn't go to the bathroom in his own backyard.  

That's right.  I don't!  In fact, I make it a habit not to do anything until we are at least two houses past my own.  Even if it's raining out and we have to walk all the way to the Green Spots in the rain.  Well, I don't like the rain either so sometimes I make Mom put us in the car to take me to a Green Spot.  Even then, I might not get out of the car right away.  She has had to drag me out!

And sometimes if they get home late, they still have to take me out.  Cuz, I can hold it a really really really long time, but I do have my limits.  So if it's late and dark out, Mom and Dad take me out together.  Mom brings a flashlight and shines it around in case there are javelinas, or coyotes or bobcats.  I don't think the snakes are out at night.  At least we haven't  seen any yet.  And sometimes if its really really really dark, we'll all go in the car to the Green Spot where they can park the car facing the grass and turn on the headlights.  Then I get to go with the headlights directly on me -- just like if I was in the movies!

And in the summer when you can fry an egg on the sidewalk, it isn't fun to walk to the Green Spots.  It burns my feet.  Mom goes out in front of the house and stands with her bare feet on the asphalt to see if it's too hot for me.  (Now who is being really really really weird?)  If it is too hot we use the car.  Or if Dad has the car, I get to wear those fun Booties.  Remember the Booties?  


OK, once I did go out in the backyard.  That was when I was feeling really really really bad and it was in the middle of the night.  I stared at Mom (like I do when I want her to do something) and she woke up and knew right away what I needed.  

This is me telling Mom what I want her to do!


You'd understand that look wouldn't you?

So she let me out and I did a gooey number.  But I felt a lot better after that.  But that was the only time.

Well, not really.  I confess when my friend Sutter was here, he went out in the back yard.  I wasn't going to let him pee and poop in my back yard if I didn't.  So I did.  But when he left I stopped.

Here's why I think I'm being perfectly normal.  Dogs do not like to mess in their homes.  That's why you're supposed to potty train a dog by using a crate.  Then they don't mess in their crate and they wait till you take them out where they are supposed to go.  

I'm have a very expansive view of the world.  The whole house and yard are my home.  I won't mess any where near my home.  Is that so weird?  No.  It's just me.  So live with it!

Well, actually, they have lived with it for almost 9 years.  So I'm not complaining.  They can laugh at me for being weird and I'll just laugh back at them.

So maybe that's enough weirdness for one blog.

Hope your weirdness is a lovable one, too!

Love, G


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