Guinness' Top Ten for 2014

Everybody has their top stuff from 2014, so I decided to have my own.  Ready?



1.  My most fun occupation:

                                                     Director of Humor Resources.

2.  My proudest moment:

                                 6th Annual Cutest Pet Contest.  I am sooo cute!!!

3. My most Ironic Situation:

Mom bought a CD from Throughadogsear.com to help me stop chewing stuff (like the comforters and pillows) when she and Dad would go out . She copied it to her laptop, so she could make it play over and over. (But she put the CD on the bedside table after she copied it.) Sooooo...when she and Dad left the day she tried the music? I grabbed the CD and chewed it up while I listened to the music. She said it was IRONIC. I think that means she was mad at me.

4.  My most important lesson:

If I don't Duck n Dodge good,

      I end up like this: 







5.  My least liked thing.

Baths.  What else is there to say?

 

 



 

2014 was a very interesting year for me.  I moved to Arizona from St. Louis.  I met lots of odd animals and lots of fun puppies.  I helped my Mom & Dad find their way in Arizona (I LOVE Arizona).  I learned lots of stuff.  And I'm ready for the New Year. 

 

Wait till you see my New Year's Resolutions!

 

Much love,

 

G

 





Happy Holidays From Your Favorite Puppy

Or at least MY favorite puppy!

It's the day before the Night Before Christmas.  And I've been GOOD!  Well, sort of.  But at least I haven't ended up in my cage with Dad mad at me.

Yesterday, I told mom I wanted to meet Santa Claus, so she took me down the street, and I got a picture with Santa.  At least she said it was Santa.

I think Mom got it wrong.  This is NOT Santa Claus.  This must be Frosty Claus, Santa's son.  But why is he here on my street when he should be helping Santa get the toys and puppy treats ready for Christmas?  Uh, oh, maybe he is spying for his dad and telling him when I've been bad.  Maybe I shouldn't have done "you-know-what" on him, and maybe he'll tell Santa and I won't get any treats.  Please don't tell Santa, Frosty Claus.  I promise not to do it again.

Oh, wait.  Mom's taking me out.  She says Santa already brought me a present and she wants to show it to me.  Be right back!

Oh, WOW!  Santa brought me a brand new red and white floppy frizbee to play with.  Look!

 

There's nothing in the world like a new red and white floppy frizbee and soft wet grass!

Happy Holidays to ALL of my friends from
all of us at DC Ranch in Arizona!  Love, G

Teacher's Pet

 
Last week, I got a big scare.  You see, I get kind of excited when the doorbell or the phone rings.  Then I bark and bark.  And Dad can't talk on the phone.  He sometimes has to go outside so he can hear.  When that happens, he gets grumpy and he puts me in my cage and won't talk to me.  And that makes Mom grumpy, too.  She said, "If this continues, I'm going to have to get rid of one of you." 

Well, I didn't want Dad to go away and have to live somewhere else, so, I took Mom and we went to talk to my Vet, Dr. Julie Bartz at the DC Ranch Animal Hospital.  She said to have Brad Jaffe from Dogological help us.  So we did.

He came over and the first thing he said is that dogs are smart problem solvers.  (I knew that already)  And that dogs could figure out how to get what we want, so it was up to Mom and Dad to figure out how to use that to get what they want.  I was sitting quietly on my mat, 'cuz Mom had told me to stay there while they were talking, but I got interested and got up to go listen closer.  Brad made Mom put me outside!  So I used my noggin to figure out that I would still be inside if I hadn't gotten off the mat.  So when they let me come in, I stayed on the mat like I was supposed to.  Brad said I was really smart 'cuz I picked it up so quickly.  He's smart too.

I learned something else from that, too.  I'll tell you about that later.

After that, Brad showed Mom and Dad, how I could let them know that someone was at the door when the bell rang, but I had to be Quiet as soon as they said instead of barking and barking and barking.  This is me being Quiet.   I'm a good student!  Brad says so.

 



We practiced a little, then went to bed.  When I got up the next morning, I realized that I had learned a second thing from Brad.  So when Mom fed me and left the door open so I could go out and "do my morning constitution"--that's what my grandfather calls it. (I don't really have a grandfather, but if I did, I know he would call it that.).  But I was smart.  I figured if I went out the door, someone might come and close it behind me, like Brad did yesterday, and then I wouldn't be inside where I wanted to be.  So I used my noggin again and didn't go out at all!

When Mom figured out what I was doing, she just laughed.  She said, I guess we have to figure out some other thing to do when you aren't behaving!  So last night when I forgot and started to get off my mat during their dinner, she grabbed my collar and started toward the bedroom.  Uh, oh, I thought, she's going to lock me in there.  So I squirmed out of her reach and went back and flopped hard on my mat.  I won't leave, I promise.

 

 

Love,

 

Guinness,  R.D.S.

Thanksgiving Belly Ache

Thanksgiving is over.  And I’m giving thanks for that!  I’m in the Dog House again.    

 

I was pretty sick for a couple of days.  No, it wasn’t ‘cuz I ate too much turkey.  I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I will.  I ate Mom’s golf glove.  The whole thing.  Well except for that little ball marker that was snapped onto the glove?  I couldn’t swallow it, and that’s what Mom found in my mouth and that’s how she knew I did it.  She wasn’t really mad, but she didn’t have to be.  I was hurting anyway.  I couldn’t eat breakfast or dinner.   Take it from me.  You should NOT eat golf gloves.  They are NOT good to eat.  But there was a benefit – I’ve been getting chicken & rice for breakfast and dinner for the last three days.  Yummmmm. 

That’s not the only reason I’m in the Dog House, though.  Yesterday they left me in the bedroom while they went to practice tennis.  Mom forgot to hide all the pillows like she usually does, so I attacked her favorite pillow.  It has feathers.  Down Feathers.  Lovely Down Feathers!  I was in heaven!  But, she wasn’t happy when she came home;     

I could tell!


But I know she still loves me--she gave me peanut butter in my favorite bone when she and Dad had dinner.  She knows I love peanut butter.

                   

                                             You should try it,  peanut butter in bones is great!  Better than Turkey any day.  

I’m going to bed now.  I’ve got to get better quick so I can go back to my Dog Park.  Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving.  (Better than mine.) 

Love,  G

P.S.  We’ve been taking pictures for Christmas.  Just wait.

 

Thanksgiving in Scottsdale

I watched the Ferguson, Missouri stuff the other day on TV.  Here is the announcement by Bob McCulloch that the Grand Jury is not going to indict the Ferguson policeman.  (I've been following it with Mom & Dad on the TV)  .

 It was really sad--all the violence and looting and burning after the announcement.  They said it was because the black people and the white people can’t play together and have fun.  I don’t understand that.  I have lots of friends of all sorts of colors and we all have fun together.   Even the little two legged puppies like to play with us. 

 

I wish all the humans could be like us.  Sometimes we fight, but it doesn’t last long.

 

It’s Thanksgiving today.  I’m thankful that I’m a puppy who has lots of humans and dogs who love me.  
 

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.  Hope you are safe and happy as a puppy. 

Lots of wet kisses,     Guinness

I'm still learning...

We’ve been here in this strange new place with no grass and hotter ‘n hades for over a week now.  Mom & Dad had been leaving me in my cage when they left.  Then Dad said, “I’m going to give you your freedom in the master bedroom.  But freedom comes with responsibility, Guinness.”  I wasn’t sure what he meant, but I think it meant I should not have eaten the bathroom rug.  Because the next time they left, I was back in the cage.

 

 

Mom & Dad decided I should try Doggie Day Care at a place called “Always Unleashed”.  It was great.  They had a swimming pool and a “Hounds Lounge”  and I got a report card that said I could come back.  I really liked the swimming pool and met lots of fun guys and gals.  But OH, I was beat!!

 

This is me, 10 minutes after we got home:

 

 

Dad thought I was gone for good.  But it wasn’t long before Guinness the Tree Carrier was back!

 

 

And it was on that trip, that I discovered REAL GRASS.  They actually have real green grass here.  Oh, what heaven.  I might never leave. 

Anyway, I guess that’s all for this week.  I’ll let you know how things go.  Mom and Dad have been pretty busy and have only played golf twice.  But I think they’re having a good time out here. 

Talk to you later.  Hope all is well with you.

Guinness.

My famous brothers and me!

There is something you should know about me before we go much farther.  I was not the first puppy in my family.  In fact, there were two Chocolate Labrador puppies before I came along.

Mom has pictures of the puppies on her desk.  I asked her about them.  (I was afraid she might like them better than me because they are what they call Pure Breds and I'm just a stray.

I mean, get a look at this one picture.  This is my older brother, Hercules.  Isn't he sweet?

He stayed with my mom and dad for 14 years.  Then when he went away, they adopted Caesar Rodney.  This is Caesar Rodney.



Caesar Rodney stayed with them for 15 1/2 years.  I asked Mom if she loved them best because they were Pure Breds.  But she said, no.  That each of us have our own personality and she loves each of us for being who we are.  She said Hercules was the Serious One.  He was quiet and good and loved Dad best.  Caesar Rodney was the Mischievous One.  He was always in trouble and they called him "Caesar, No!" most of the time.  (I think I would like him best.)  Caesar loved Mom best.  Mom says that I am the Funny One because I can make her and Aunt Debbie and lots of people laugh.  I like to make her laugh.  But I don't think I can tell if I like her or dad best.  I like them both the same!

Did you know that all three of us are famous?  Hercules had his picture published in Dog World in 1974.  Caesar Rodney won third place in the Fox Photo contest in 1988 and his picture was published in Dog Fancy.  Me?  I won third place in the St. Louis Post Dispatch 6th Annual Cutest Pet Contest and my picture was in the Post.  Here it is:

 



See my picture on the bottom?  Why didn't I get first prize?  I'm pretty cute there.  But anyway, it makes me happy to know that me and my brothers are all famous! 

I should go now.  I've bragged enough about my siblings and me.  Next time, I'll tell you about my new adventures in a new world!

Love,

Guinness

Life in St. Louis...

I'm back now, and I'm going to tell you just a little about my life in St. Louis.  Mostly I slept in my cage while Mom & Dad worked.  But Mom always came home at lunch time and we had lunch together and then went for a walk.  I took Mom & Dad on lots of walks. 

One day, I remember, I got pretty confused.  We came back from a walk and I thought Mom had already gone into the condo and left me outside.  See, I was worried:

 

 

I was surprised (and embarrassed) to find her behind me.  My face turned red!  (Not really.  My face can't turn red.)  She promised she would never leave out all by myself.

 

 

When we walked, I sometimes sit and watch people walk by.  They would be so happy to see that I was interested in them.  People need to feel important too, just like dogs.  So I would sit very tall (well, as tall as I could being just a puppy) and stare until they would laugh and call me the cutest dog they had ever seen.  I didn't believe them, but it made us all feel good.  This is me sitting pretty when I was little.  I shouldn't have stuck out my tongue, but I was trying to make Mom laugh.  It worked.

 

 And sometimes when we walk, I just like to sit in the grass.  Grass is great.  It's cool and soft and sometimes good to eat.  I call this picture, "Pooped Puppy in the Grass."  Then we would come back to the house and all I could do was collapse in my cage.  Life is good: I'll be back next week -- after my nap!  

Love, G