Post 2 Coronavirus

I know I owe you a new post.  But I've been so distracted after my film debut, that it has been hard to come back to earth among all the little people and resume my mundane life.  This morning, our neighbors asked me for my autograph and I had to refuse them, as I was not carrying a pen in my pocket.  In fact, I do not have a pocket in which to carry a pen.  So no autograph.

But back to why I have returned to my mundane life to continue my posts: I am a conscientious canine and will always do the responsible thing, so I am back to entertain my minions.

My Mom had her French book club today.  And while that may sound impressive, I am here to tell you otherwise.  I sat in on their phone conversation (because, of course with Covid 19 they couldn't visit each other, and anyway, two of them live in St. Louis, which would be pretty hard to visit.)  Let me tell you, there was a lot of English being spoken.  And then they read a  french book and translated it as they read.  I have two friends who are French Bulldogs and one who is a French Poodle.  They would be embarrassed to hear my Mom speaking this stuff.  I think she speaks with a Spanish accent.  French, indeed!

But they did have some fun with a question as to whether any of them were bored staying home in this shut-down.  And that made me think, was I bored?

Actually, I would have to answer that in a definitive negative.  Everytime I turn around, someone wants to go for a walk.  And Yours Truly is not one to refuse a walk.  Although sometimes I have to put the skids on when they don't let me choose the direction.  Dad is a creature of habit, and he thinks you have to go one of two paths:  the one around the rec center or the one up the mountain.  Now THAT can get boring.  Especially when he wants to do the same path in the afternoon as we did in the morning.  

Mom likes to explore like I do.  She puts me on auto pilot and I get to take her wherever I want to go.  That's how we found out how to get to one of Mom's friends walking instead of in the car.  Mom's friend and Mom were both surprised when we saw her out in her back yard.  I knew where I was going, so I wasn't the least bit surprised.  It was fun.

And when Mom's not paying attention, I always lead her by my favorite friends who have treats for me.  You know...as long as we're on a walk, a little treat wouldn't hurt!

Just a little while ago, I was out on the porch with Dad.  He's reading another book, and it's fun to just veg out there with him.  There was a nice breeze and lots and lots of smells floating by.  

This afternoon, Mom went out to weed the front yard, and she let me come help her.  I mostly kept the rabbits out of her way.  And I was constantly on the alert for my friend, Javelina.  I know Mom would prefer we run in the house when Javelina is around.  

So no, I'm not bored.  I'm pretty happy these days.  I do hope for everyone else's sake that the virus goes away soon.  

Hope you are happy and not bored, too.

Love, G   

Has COVID-19 Got You Down?

I certainly hope not, at least not in the literal sense.  I would be very sad if one of you had the virus and got really sick.  So please, wash your hands a lot and stay home.  And I have some tips for you while you're staying home.

First, I have a movie for you to watch:

Mom and I have been really busy the past week and a half.  We were commissioned to do a movie!  How do you like them carrots!  Didn't I tell you I was famous?  And now see, it landed me a real acting job.  It's just a bit piece that the principal of my old school wanted to use for his morning announcement.  See, all the kids are out of school, so they go online and this would be his way of starting the online lessons.

I'm not so sure about the end result of the movie.  Mom didn't really know what she was doing.  She would go to Google for a few minutes and look something up, then she would go to her ipad and try something out.  Usually, it took at least 3 trips to Google before she said, "Ahaaa!"  Which only meant that she figured out one of 3 millions issues she had while making my movie.  When she finally got it the way she wanted it, it then took her a day and a half to transfer it to Youtube.  I told her she needed to rent a teenager.  I gave her a C+ for the Movie, but she got a A+ for trying!

Anyway, we now have a 5 minute movie on Youtube all about me.  And you can see it for yourself.  It's right here:  The World According to Guinness - the Movie .  

(If you can't click on it to get to the movie, cut and paste this into your browser:  https://youtu.be/Y5scdQw99to )

In it, you will find lots of things you can do if you're bored.  Read, listen to music, play with your toys, take walks and smell the flowers, and roll around in the grass.  Besides that, here are some other fun things that I like to do:

You can do is dig holes to hide your bones.  I do it in the house.  Mom doesn't like me to dig in the yard.  But I hide my bones in a hole I dug in my doggie bed.  It's fun.  Try it.

How about trying whipped cream with nothing on it?  It's really yummy, I can tell you.

Or take a ride somewhere, anywhere.  
Just to see a new place, maybe.  Or 
just to put your head out the window and feel the air.

Or maybe try hiding one of your toys under a cupboard.  And then try and find it!

Or devour a new book.                                    But maybe not literally!

Or my favorite.  Just plunk yourself down in front of that TV you have in the front room of your house and watch the world go by.

See, you never have to be bored when you're at home.  Just be a little creative.

Hope you all stay home and stay healthy.

Love, G

What is the World Coming To?

I've been watching CNN and Fox News with my Mom.  (She has to wait till Dad goes to play golf, 'cuz he refuses to watch any of that stuff until "some sort of sanity returns", he says.)
I don't quite know what that means, except I guess it has something to do with the fact that there are a lot of screaming, angry people on those shows.   

Lots of people want to be boss of the whole world and none of them wants to listen to what people want.  That doesn't make sense to me.  When I want to boss my Mom around, all I have to do is figure out what makes her happy.  Some days, she just likes me to snuggle with her on the couch.  Some days, she likes me to go to breakfast with her and act very calm and polite.  When I do that, I can tell her by using my dogtelepathy that I want her to take me out or get a treat and she does it right away!  That's how you get to boss people around.  You don't try to yell louder than the next person.  I know that!

So I'm going to throw my hat into the ring (that is if I had a hat, which I don't).  I would make a great President.  

Then we watch the stuff about a virus that's going around.  I don't think I can catch it, but a lot of people are getting sick and dying from it.  Mom and Dad wash their hands a lot and I'm afraid I'm going to get a bath soon too.  

So anyway, it's just not the funnest time to be out and about these days.  I've taken to reading more books.  Dad does that instead of listening to the nasty news so I'm doing that too.  

I'm sorry, but it's just not as much fun as going to the Dog Park!

Ho, hum.  I hope things get better soon.

I hope you keep healthy and don't get spooked out about all the nasty politicians and stuff.  

Love, G

  

The Case of the Missing Meat

Mom has long suspected me of climbing on counters when she and Dad aren't home.  But I wouldn't do that.  You know me.  I might chew a pay-check or a bank statement or two, but climb up and pull something off the counter top?

I mean really, when the two packets of meat went missing, how could I be to blame.  Weren't they right up on the counter next to the pantry whose door is always open.  

Do I ever take food from the pantry whose door is always open?  No, of course not.  Then why would I go to all the trouble of reaching waaaayyy up on kitchen counter to eat a packet or two of meat.

But she tells me that she pulled out some turkey and ham to thaw and put it on the counter.  She meant to then put it in the refrigerator but Dad called her in and the next thing I know, they are walking out the door to do errands and I have a Kong Toy and a biscuit to attend to.

When she got home, she says she found a piece of plastic on the bed.  Another piece of a plastic bag with the zip lock still intact was on the kitchen floor.  She had to think a minute before she remembered the two packets of meat.  Funny, they were no longer on the kitchen counter.

She asked me about it, then.  I said, "Was it a 5 ounce package of ham and another one of turkey?"  She said, "Yeesss", in that long drawn out way she does when she means a lot of other stuff.  I said, I don't know anything about it.  

But then I said, Oh, wait, now I remember.  I think I saw a burglar come in right after you left.   He made himself some sandwiches and ate them and then he left.  I tried to bark at him to go away but he pulled a gun on me and made me sit while he ate the sandwiches.

"Oh, really," said Mom.  "And did he enjoy the plastic wrap, too?"  I guess so, I told her.  (Rats!, I thought.  Busted by a plastic wrap.)

She didn't say anything to Dad about it.  But I went to bed without much dinner that night.  That darn burglar.  It was all his fault!

Hope you don't have burglars raiding your kitchen counters!

Love, G

Learning Tricks

I said I would I would tell you about my new tricks.  Or rather my attempt at new tricks.

Mom says I'm a smart dog so I should be able to do these.  I think she's a bad teacher because I can't figure out what she wants me to learn.

Take the day at the library.  We were doing "Shake" and I was giving her a paw and getting my treats just like usual.  We even did "High Five" where I take the same paw and do it higher and get more treats.  (I especially like the treat part in case you were wondering.)

Then she said, "Give me your other paw."  I gave her my paw.  She said, "No, your other paw, your left paw."  I gave her my paw.  I wasn't getting any treats and I didn't get it.  How many times must I give her my paw before I get my treats?

The she said it again, "Give me your paw."  But while I was trying to give her my paw, she grabbed my other leg and they were both in the air.  That was awkward.  I fell down.  I didn't get a treat for that either.  

She tried again doing the same thing.  After awhile, I sat down and said forget it, I didn't want any more treats anyway.

We went home that day, but a few days later, she was at it again.  This time it was a new trick called "Fetch Your Kong Toy".  Now I know she puts treats in my big black rubber toy.  I like that.  But what did that have to do with "Fetch Your Kong Toy"?  So she says, "Guinness, fetch your Kong toy."  I just looked at her.  So she walks me to my doggie bed, where my little bones  and my big black rubber toy are and she says again, "Guinness, get your Kong Toy."  

I picked up one of my little bones to give her.  Maybe she was going to put peanut butter in it like she does at breakfast?  But no, she shook her head and put it back and said again, "Guinness, fetch your Kong toy."  I grabbed my big black rubber toy and looked up at her and she smiled and said, "Good boy."  I know enough to keep doing what I'm doing when she says, "good boy."  I followed her to the kitchen and gave her my toy, and low and behold she loaded it with carrots.  I love when she loads my toy with carrots.  They're sweet and crunchy and they last all of 12 seconds.  So maybe I did my trick?

Next day, she says to me, "Guinness, fetch your Kong Toy."   Something in my mind said I should know what that means.  But I just looked at her for clues.

She sighed.  Then she said, "You know Caesar used to run up the stairs and look all over the house until he found his Kong Toy."  (I hate when she says what Caesar used to do.  He was my older brother, but he isn't here anymore, so who cares what HE could do.)

She walked me over to my doggie bed where my big black rubber toy was.  But she had her camera phone ready, so I posed on the doggie bed.  I supposed that was what she wanted.  

All of a sudden, I remembered from yesterday, and I grabbed my toy and followed her into the kitchen.  I might get my toy full of carrots again.  THIS time she put a biscuit in it.  I get that out in 6 seconds, but it tastes even better than the carrots.

I hope I don't have to keep guessing how to get my treats.  But maybe that's what life will be like from here on in.  Stay tuned.  I'll let you know.

Hope you get treats without having to guess what you have to do to get them!

Love, G

Mom's got a new iphone!

And I get to pose again.

We were at the library last week.  It was still Christmas break for the kids even though it's after the New Year.  So Mom and I had a lot of time on our hands because there weren't many kids there.  That's when Mom decided to practice taking pictures on her new iphone camera.

We did the usual.  I get on the blanket and gaze at the camera lens.  (I'm pretty good at that by now.  You all know how many pictures I have to pose for!)  As usual, my dark eyes disappear in the photograph.  (And I have beautiful brown eyes.)

She fiddled with the settings a bit and we tried again.  (Good thing I'm such a patient model.)  That resulted in this lovely picture:

See those sweet eyes?

She kept going and made me sit for a photo.  

Then she found something really cool.  It was called Portrait Settings.  So then I looked like a REAL model:

That was special.  

By then I was bored.  So we tried doing tricks.  I'm going to have to tell you about those later.  It's too embarrassing.

Hope you get someone to take lovely photos of you!

Happy New Year and all my love,  G.

Merry Christmas to All (Especially my kids)

Thursday was my last Library with the Kids Day for the year.  I won't be seeing them until January 2, 2020.  

Mom dressed me up in my Christmas bow (which is as much decoration as I will let her put on me.)  Then we waited for the kids.  

And there were a bunch of them.  A little boy and his dad came close and Mom asked if the little boy wanted to read to me.  He hid his little face in his dad's pants, but when Mom pulled out my picture book and asked if he wanted to just look at the pictures, he smiled.  He sat down with me and paged through the pictures without saying a word.  But he smiled his thanks when he left.

Another little girl fell in love with me.  I can tell these things.  She read three books and couldn't stop petting me.  Mom said she was a polite girl because she backed away just a bit whenever anyone else came by so they could have their chance to love me, too.  

That's when a lady came over and asked if she could pet me.  She said she wanted to feel calmer given the crazy days of Christmas.  So I let her rub me under the chin and between my eyes.  Ohhhhh, yesssss.  I was calm too.  After she left, I heard her say to her young son, "Why don't you go and pet Guinness.  It will make you feel better."  And he did!  He came right over and got down with me and we snuggled.  When he left to go back to his Mom, she asked him, "Did that make you feel better?"  And he said, "YES!"  Which made me feel really good, too.

And then the little girl who loves me came back and snuggled with me  again.

I love the library kids.  I didn't want to leave.

We went the door to go home, but I wanted to go back.

Mom told me to come, but I pretended I didn't hear her.  She tried her trick where she drops my leash and leaves me.  I usually follow her because I'm scared she might really leave me.  But at the library, I knew I could go find my friends back inside, so I didn't follow her.
  

She came back pretty soon, and tried to get me to the car.  But I said, "No, not going!"

She finally pulled out the liver treats and I followed her to the car.  But she says I'm an embarrassment to her when I do that.  I can't help it.  I like being with my kids.  Especially when I can calm everybody during the Christmas Holidays!

We went home and she gave me a hug.  

Hope you have a calm and Merry Christmas.

Love, G