Words of Wisdom from Guinness

Mom & Dad went to Connecticut to see my Grandma Simmons.  She lives where it's cold and snowy.  And they might not get home in time to help me with my blog, so I'm going to try and do it myself.  Just don't tell them.  I'm not supposed to do the computer by myself.

But I wanted to do it 'cuz I was reading a really good article while they were away.  It's called "Our Dog Years".  It was about this guy who adopted a stray puppy (like me) and he called him Foghat (Foggie for short).  Foggie lived to be 18 years old and had lots and lots of experiences with his humans.  (I have had lots and lots of experiences with my humans, too, but I'm only almost two, and I hope to have lots and lots more.)

Anyway, his human learned a lot from his puppy and I want to share it with you.  It's about getting older.  Well, I'm not getting old, but I AM getting older -- every day -- and lots of my friends are a lot older than me.  So I guess it's good advice for any age, 'cuz someday, we'll all be older.  I think.  Here's what his human said in AARP The Magazine:"

"Everything you do for a dog to help them age well, you should do with them.  So eat the best food you can afford.  Go for a walk, even if it's raining.  Take a lot of naps.  Keep your teeth clean and your breath fresh, so that the people you lick will not flinch.  And when someone you love walks in through the door, even if it happens five times a day, go totally insane with joy."

 



Till next week....

 

 

Love, G.

I have a new friend!

Actually, Mom & I both have a new friend.  Her new friend is "Ellen".  I think that's cool, 'cuz it's my Mom's name, too and it's easy to remember, AND when you call "Ellen" they both come running! (Well no, I can't really say, "Ellen", but other people do and they both answer.)

MY new friend is Ellen's puppy Ozzie.  He is an Australian Shepherd.  He's one of those Pure Breds, not like me.  But he's nice.  He's really pretty.  Don't you think?

Ozzie's a little younger than me, but he doesn't have as much energy as me.  Ellen says it's because he's overweight.  That's when you eat too much and your belly gets big.  I don't think he's overweight.  And I don't think I could ever be overweight.  They don't feed me enough as it is!  I wish Ellen was my Mom and maybe she would feed me 'till I was overweight.  That would be great.



Anyway, we ran and ran and ran and ran.  And I let Ozzie play with my frizbees. 

Ozzie played nicely with me for awhile, but then he got kinda bossy and wanted all the toys.

 

Mom says it's because he is an Australian Shepherd and they have to be bossy 'cuz they grow up to herd sheep and their people and stuff.  But why does he have to be bossy about it?  I'm partly a German Shepherd, and I'm not bossy.  (In fact, Mom says I am a Wimp!  And she was smiling when she said it, so I'm sure it's a good thing to be a wimp!)  I guess it's just because Germans must be nicer than Australians.  I asked Mom and she said she was pretty sure that Australians are really nice, too.  It's so confusing. 

 

After awhile, I had to take a break and I sat wayyyyy away from Ozzie.  You see, a big black Labrador came by while we were playing.  And she was almost as bossy as Ozzie.  They were fighting because Molly took one of Ozzie's toys and sat down with it.  Ozzie got mad and sat on her head.  It wasn't pretty.  That's why I had to sit wayyyy away from Ozzie.  I didn't want him to sit on my head.

 

I hope Ozzie comes back.  Even if he is bossy, we had lots of fun.  And I think my mom likes Ellen to come and play too.

That's what I know this week.  Stay warm!  We are!

G

  





New Years Resolutions

I spent all last week working on my New Year's Resolutions.  It was tough!  I know that having Goals are real important.  (I'm not sure why, but my mom says so, and she's usually right.)  

Some of my resolutions are not just for me, but are for my Mom & Dad because I think they can use some help with theirs.

So I wrote down my resolutions for 2015.  (OK, so I can't write.  I typed them on this computer though.  So there!)

GUINNESS' NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS:

#1.  I will not eat my bed.  Nor any cushion that serves as my bed. 

Mom keeps my pillow in my cage, and I like to go there sometimes.  Cages are nice places.  You can feel safe and comfy.  But if I eat my pillow, it won't be as comfy.  So I'm going to promise  for 2015 not to eat my pillow. 

#2.  I will make new friends whether they are like me or different from me.  Like the ones I met last year.   

       

 

 

I told Mom that if I make new friends, then she needs to, too.  And she's already trying.  She joined a Book Club and goes to these Women's Club meetings.  (Maybe she said Happy Hours.  I'd like a Happy Hour.  At Always Unleashed, they call those Yappy Hours.  Is she going to Yappy Hours without me?  Maybe I don't want her to meet new people after all.)

 

 

#3.  I will keep Mom & Dad healthy. 

 

I've been looking at the TV adds, and everyone is trying to lose weight for 2015.  But I won the 6th Annual St. Louis Post Dispatch Cutest Pet Contest and I'm cute the way I am.  I don't need to lose weight.  But I will make sure that Mom & Dad keep to their 3 mile walking schedule every morning.  ('Cuz I'd be really sad if we didn't do it.) 



 

AND, I'm going to help them get back into Yoga.  I heard Dad say that he wanted to do Yoga again.  They have classes up the street at the Rec Center.  But I know lots of Yoga moves and I'm working up a program for them.  I'll share that with you next week.  I really like that I can help Mom & Dad be healthy.

 

 

#4.  I will follow the rules. 

 

If I've learned anything, it's that if I do what I'm told, then good things happen.  And when I screw up, I get stomach aches.  ("member the golf glove?  If you don't,  look at my post "Thanksgiving BellyAche ".

 

 

 

#5.  I will do something new and fun next year.

 

I talked to Mom about this one.  I want to make a difference in a kid's life, or maybe make a Grandmother happy.  She said that if I would agree to take some classes to be certified as a Therapy Dog, then we could do those things.  Maybe I could have kids who don't like to read, read to me.  I would really like that.  I could learn all about Harry Potter, if a kid would read that to me.  (Mom told me about Harry Potter, but she already read all about him -- in French -- and I don't know French.  So I would rather have a kid read to me about him so I could understand.)

 

And guess who is teaching the classes?  My old friend, Brad Jaffe from Dogological.com who thinks I'm the Bees Knees.  (What is the Bees Knees?)!

 

 

#6.   I will get lots of sleep. 

Sleep is good for health.  It's good for everything.  Everybody should take a good nap every day.  I'm working on Mom & Dad so they will join me everyday for a nap.  I think Dad agrees with me.  But we're still working on Mom.

 

 

If you need any help on your New Years Resolutions, just ask me.  I would be happy to help. 

 

 

Love and Happy and Healthy New Year!

 

 

G.

Guinness' Top Ten for 2014

Everybody has their top stuff from 2014, so I decided to have my own.  Ready?



1.  My most fun occupation:

                                                     Director of Humor Resources.

2.  My proudest moment:

                                 6th Annual Cutest Pet Contest.  I am sooo cute!!!

3. My most Ironic Situation:

Mom bought a CD from Throughadogsear.com to help me stop chewing stuff (like the comforters and pillows) when she and Dad would go out . She copied it to her laptop, so she could make it play over and over. (But she put the CD on the bedside table after she copied it.) Sooooo...when she and Dad left the day she tried the music? I grabbed the CD and chewed it up while I listened to the music. She said it was IRONIC. I think that means she was mad at me.

4.  My most important lesson:

If I don't Duck n Dodge good,

      I end up like this: 







5.  My least liked thing.

Baths.  What else is there to say?

 

 



 

2014 was a very interesting year for me.  I moved to Arizona from St. Louis.  I met lots of odd animals and lots of fun puppies.  I helped my Mom & Dad find their way in Arizona (I LOVE Arizona).  I learned lots of stuff.  And I'm ready for the New Year. 

 

Wait till you see my New Year's Resolutions!

 

Much love,

 

G

 





Happy Holidays From Your Favorite Puppy

Or at least MY favorite puppy!

It's the day before the Night Before Christmas.  And I've been GOOD!  Well, sort of.  But at least I haven't ended up in my cage with Dad mad at me.

Yesterday, I told mom I wanted to meet Santa Claus, so she took me down the street, and I got a picture with Santa.  At least she said it was Santa.

I think Mom got it wrong.  This is NOT Santa Claus.  This must be Frosty Claus, Santa's son.  But why is he here on my street when he should be helping Santa get the toys and puppy treats ready for Christmas?  Uh, oh, maybe he is spying for his dad and telling him when I've been bad.  Maybe I shouldn't have done "you-know-what" on him, and maybe he'll tell Santa and I won't get any treats.  Please don't tell Santa, Frosty Claus.  I promise not to do it again.

Oh, wait.  Mom's taking me out.  She says Santa already brought me a present and she wants to show it to me.  Be right back!

Oh, WOW!  Santa brought me a brand new red and white floppy frizbee to play with.  Look!

 

There's nothing in the world like a new red and white floppy frizbee and soft wet grass!

Happy Holidays to ALL of my friends from
all of us at DC Ranch in Arizona!  Love, G

Teacher's Pet

 
Last week, I got a big scare.  You see, I get kind of excited when the doorbell or the phone rings.  Then I bark and bark.  And Dad can't talk on the phone.  He sometimes has to go outside so he can hear.  When that happens, he gets grumpy and he puts me in my cage and won't talk to me.  And that makes Mom grumpy, too.  She said, "If this continues, I'm going to have to get rid of one of you." 

Well, I didn't want Dad to go away and have to live somewhere else, so, I took Mom and we went to talk to my Vet, Dr. Julie Bartz at the DC Ranch Animal Hospital.  She said to have Brad Jaffe from Dogological help us.  So we did.

He came over and the first thing he said is that dogs are smart problem solvers.  (I knew that already)  And that dogs could figure out how to get what we want, so it was up to Mom and Dad to figure out how to use that to get what they want.  I was sitting quietly on my mat, 'cuz Mom had told me to stay there while they were talking, but I got interested and got up to go listen closer.  Brad made Mom put me outside!  So I used my noggin to figure out that I would still be inside if I hadn't gotten off the mat.  So when they let me come in, I stayed on the mat like I was supposed to.  Brad said I was really smart 'cuz I picked it up so quickly.  He's smart too.

I learned something else from that, too.  I'll tell you about that later.

After that, Brad showed Mom and Dad, how I could let them know that someone was at the door when the bell rang, but I had to be Quiet as soon as they said instead of barking and barking and barking.  This is me being Quiet.   I'm a good student!  Brad says so.

 



We practiced a little, then went to bed.  When I got up the next morning, I realized that I had learned a second thing from Brad.  So when Mom fed me and left the door open so I could go out and "do my morning constitution"--that's what my grandfather calls it. (I don't really have a grandfather, but if I did, I know he would call it that.).  But I was smart.  I figured if I went out the door, someone might come and close it behind me, like Brad did yesterday, and then I wouldn't be inside where I wanted to be.  So I used my noggin again and didn't go out at all!

When Mom figured out what I was doing, she just laughed.  She said, I guess we have to figure out some other thing to do when you aren't behaving!  So last night when I forgot and started to get off my mat during their dinner, she grabbed my collar and started toward the bedroom.  Uh, oh, I thought, she's going to lock me in there.  So I squirmed out of her reach and went back and flopped hard on my mat.  I won't leave, I promise.

 

 

Love,

 

Guinness,  R.D.S.

Thanksgiving Belly Ache

Thanksgiving is over.  And I’m giving thanks for that!  I’m in the Dog House again.    

 

I was pretty sick for a couple of days.  No, it wasn’t ‘cuz I ate too much turkey.  I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I will.  I ate Mom’s golf glove.  The whole thing.  Well except for that little ball marker that was snapped onto the glove?  I couldn’t swallow it, and that’s what Mom found in my mouth and that’s how she knew I did it.  She wasn’t really mad, but she didn’t have to be.  I was hurting anyway.  I couldn’t eat breakfast or dinner.   Take it from me.  You should NOT eat golf gloves.  They are NOT good to eat.  But there was a benefit – I’ve been getting chicken & rice for breakfast and dinner for the last three days.  Yummmmm. 

That’s not the only reason I’m in the Dog House, though.  Yesterday they left me in the bedroom while they went to practice tennis.  Mom forgot to hide all the pillows like she usually does, so I attacked her favorite pillow.  It has feathers.  Down Feathers.  Lovely Down Feathers!  I was in heaven!  But, she wasn’t happy when she came home;     

I could tell!


But I know she still loves me--she gave me peanut butter in my favorite bone when she and Dad had dinner.  She knows I love peanut butter.

                   

                                             You should try it,  peanut butter in bones is great!  Better than Turkey any day.  

I’m going to bed now.  I’ve got to get better quick so I can go back to my Dog Park.  Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving.  (Better than mine.) 

Love,  G

P.S.  We’ve been taking pictures for Christmas.  Just wait.